Hehe... I Have No Idea What I'm Doing

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
quecksilvereyes
quecksilvereyes

listen its about the last unicorn being fundamentally no different from the harpy and feeling more compassion for her than she does the trapped animals or the humans trapped by circumstance. it's about haggard grabbing the unicorn only once she has become human enough for him to drag her down and realise her eyes are empty. it's about schmendrick and the magic that lives in him more than he wields it, it's about "never run from anything immortal, it attracts their attention" while walking slowly from an unspeakable horror devouring an old woman, it's about "how dare you come to me now, when I am this?". it's about the unicorns staying in the water until they can't anymore, until the castle crumbles and the one unicorn who is different from the others now - she lowers her horn and she digs her hooves in and she stands her ground for a dear, dead boy. it's about the trade of immortality between schmendrick and the unicorn, it's about stories needing to be told, it's about lir loving the unicorn enough to know that she cannot stay with him, and to let her would be to do her a disservice.

it's about "your name is a golden bell hung in my heart. i would tear myself to pieces to call you once by your name." it's about regret.

(it's also about little 5 year old me renting the movie from the library whenever i could and watching it on loop for hours. it's about just how much this story has shaped me and my understanding of storytelling.)

manywinged
theglowpt2

holden mindhunter: we think this man is the killer because he fits the profile

everyone in the 70s: PROFILE??? what does that mean??? “serial killer”? SPEAK ENGLISH. Son i’m not so sure about all this new agey mumbo jumbo. I’ve been on the force 425 years and know that the only way to solve a murder is to look for the guy that’s covered in blood. What the FUCK is a “pattern”? are you GAY or something????

prophecyofgray
prophecyofgray

twitchtip for me is one of the most hard-hitting deaths in tuc right up there with ares hamnet and thalia. like “oh u like this funky little rat? this rat that can smell color? oh u think she’s cool? yeah? well ur only gonna have her for one book and then u wont hear anything about her again until the last book when u find out she’s dead and gregor has an absolutely heartbreaking reaction to it!” fuck you

dishesoap
dishesoap

i like the Hunger Games a lot but im always gonna be a little bitter it took off when her Underland Chronicles never did. those books were so good and so fucked up. snippets of spoilers for a 20 year old book series for middle schoolers ahead:

  • cockroaches the size of horses who talk and are actually super chill and great babysitters for human toddlers. these books are the only reason i dont have nightmares about cockroaches anymore
  • cannibalism happens a lot. at one point a rat the size of a bison says "man go ahead and eat your dead friend, we wont judge" to a spider, who then proceeds to eat her dead friend. everyone but the rat judges.
  • another rat, who is still relatively a baby, is found later eating his babysitter's liver in an attempt to hide the body.
  • dude, pandoras death was so fucked up. "wow an island! im starving im gonna have a snack. brb guys" flies a little bit over, is immediately devoured in seconds by bugs and her skeleton crashes into the jungle below
  • plague book! humans try to commit genocide and blame it on bugs
  • hey. hey eleven year old. kill this tiny baby screaming for his mother. he sounds just like your baby sister you think just died horribly. kill this baby with a sword. you didnt? you didnt kill a sobbing baby who watched his mother die? we're putting you on trial for treason and will execute you
  • baby rat gone insane, now 15' tall and leading an army, ripping the head off of his friend/gaslighter, immediately heartbreakingly asking where she went, and then finding the head and accusing a twelve year old boy of doing it
  • dude gregor is eleven and in the first book willingly leaps off a cliff to his death (despite it being his worst fear) in the hopes itll stop his two year old sister boots from being graphically torn apart and eaten, like he has seen happen to others
  • thalia's death. they dont just kill unnamed children (they do absolutely kill a lot of unnamed babies onscreen) they also kill beloved named children
  • "the fireflies had to gnaw ares' claw off of his corpse bc you wouldnt let go of your friends claw. its been almost three weeks and the viscera has dried and glued it to your grip. we cant get it off without breaking your finger. you gotta let go of your friends corpse, twelve year old boy"
  • twitchtip.
  • forcing the twelve year old into a prophesied battle where he will die, and making him dissociate so hard for months he blankly allows others to make him cause/be complicit in war crimes
  • HAHA HEY THE SAPIENT, INTELLIGENT MICE DYING BY THE HUNDREDS SUFFOCATING ON POISON GAS WHILE A TODDLER SINGS A NURSERY SONG ABOUT THE MICE DYING.
  • the six year old boy losing literally everyone hes ever known and cared for over and over again
  • just so much violent gore and death for middle schoolers, man. i love it.
  • hey that was objectively a good and well done ending. and i also loved it. but "hey gregor my husband was in the war. he had ptsd that will never go away just like you" hey hes twelve :( someone help him

prim's death in the hunger games has nothing on the shit collins pulled in the underland chronicles this is like a tiny chunk please read them